What actually helped me feel like me again

Motherhood changed me.

We’ve established that.

It bent me, stretched me, softened me and strengthened me all at the same time. But somewhere between being pregnant, breastfeeding, surviving on broken sleep and giving every part of myself to three little girls… I lost parts of me too.

Not in a dramatic way.

Not always in a “who am I?” crisis.

But if I’m honest, that crisis has happened before.

There have been moments where I’ve sat there thinking:

Who am I now?

What is my role?

What is my purpose?

How do I do this well, as a mother, as someone with ambition who doesn’t want to stay stuck, and wants to give her babies the best possible life?

That pressure can be heavy. The expectation to hold it all together. To nurture, lead, build, grow, stay soft, stay strong. It’s a lot.

I was still me, but I was also everyone else’s everything. And for a while, that was enough. It had to be. Survival mode doesn’t leave much space for self-discovery.

But as the twins got older, as breastfeeding ended, as my hormones slowly settled and the fog lifted… I started to feel something shifting.

I didn’t just want to survive anymore.

I wanted to feel strong again.

Clear.

Grounded.

Intentional.

Not the old version of me.

The evolved one.

And this is what actually helped.

1. Movement (From “Bouncing Back” to Building Strength)

After Zaina, if I’m honest, movement was about wanting to get back to where I was before pregnancy. It was about my body. About “bouncing back.”

But when I fell pregnant with the twins, everything changed.

That pregnancy was brutal. Double weight. Double pressure on my back. Running around after a toddler while growing two babies. It stretched me physically and mentally.

But I trained throughout that pregnancy, I did it well, safely, intentionally and it helped me more than I can explain. It kept my mind steady when everything felt overwhelming. It reminded me I was capable even when I felt heavy and uncomfortable.

And going back to the gym when the girls were 12 weeks old? That wasn’t about aesthetics anymore.

It was survival.

It was strength.

It was therapy.

Every session reminded me I was rebuilding. Not just physically but mentally.

Movement stopped being about “getting my body back.”

It became about becoming powerful in the body I’m in.

2. Learning Something New (And Seeing What Was Possible)

When the twins were four months old, I saw another single mum taking her babies on holiday. Just her and them. Confident. Capable. Living.

Something clicked.

That was what inspired me to step into the travel world and network marketing initially. Not because I wanted to “sell.” But because I wanted freedom. I wanted to understand how income could look different. How life could look different.

I became a travel agent in that season because I wanted to build something that worked around my babies, not away from them.

Over time, the fire dipped a little, as it does when you’re juggling motherhood and growth. But recently, I’ve stepped into a new company, still in the irresistible world of travel, still within the network marketing model I genuinely believe in.

Because I love it.

I love that it’s personal growth wrapped inside business. I love that it builds confidence. Communication. Resilience. Leadership.

It stretched me in ways motherhood didn’t, and that’s not a bad thing.

It reminded me I can build.

3. Mindset (When the World Feels Heavy)

Motherhood doesn’t happen in isolation.

There have been nights, especially during feeds, where I’ve sat there watching the news, seeing horrific things happening in the world, and thought:

Why me?

Why do I get to keep my babies safe?

Why do I deserve this life when some mothers don’t?

Those thoughts are heavy.

And this is where mindset and faith intertwine for me.

I’ve had to learn how to hold gratitude without guilt. How to accept that my blessings don’t take away from someone else’s suffering. How to channel those feelings into becoming a better mother, more present, more intentional, instead of spiralling into fear.

Journaling.

Voice-noting my thoughts.

Talking to God.

Releasing it instead of holding it in.

Clearing your head is powerful. When you let thoughts sit unchallenged, they grow. When you process them, they soften.

4. Self Care (The Pivotal Shifts)

Self care hasn’t always been bubble baths.

Sometimes it’s been cutting my hair.

Dyeing it.

Getting a fresh blow dry.

Putting on fake tan and suddenly feeling like a whole new woman.

Those little physical resets? They’re symbolic.

They say: I still matter.

After years of giving physically — through pregnancy, breastfeeding, night feeds — choosing to feel good in my appearance again was part of reclaiming myself.

Not for anyone else.

For me.

Because when I feel put together, I show up differently. These are the ones I found made a HUGE difference in the end.

5. Faith (My Anchor Through the Questions)

There have been moments where I’ve questioned everything.

Why me?

Why this path?

Why these challenges?

And also, why these blessings?

Faith has anchored me through both.

It’s reminded me that these babies were written for me. That this life, with all its chaos and beauty, is part of something bigger than I can see.

When I’ve felt overwhelmed, I’ve handed it over. When I’ve felt unworthy, I’ve reminded myself that gratitude is worship too.

Faith hasn’t made motherhood easier.

But it’s made it steadier.

Motherhood Changed Me, But It Didn’t Erase Me

Reclaiming myself didn’t mean going backwards.

It meant integrating every version of me, the ambitious one, the faithful one, the soft one, the driven one, into something balanced.

It meant accepting that I can be a devoted mum and still build something of my own.

It meant understanding that growth can feel uncomfortable, even like a double life at times but eventually, it settles.

And now?

I don’t feel split.

I feel aligned.

And maybe that’s what reclaiming yourself really is, not finding who you were, but deciding who you’re becoming.